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The best free ecards website in the world.

Regretably, none of our cards are appropriate to send to anyone.*

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* Well, at least they're free!

Christmas Ecard with text: santa knew who was naughty and nice. he knew too much. he had to die. sorry.
Christmas Ecard with text: merry christmas from the u.s. department of homeland security. keeping the skies safe this holiday season!

Wait, ecards that are wrong for every occasion?

I'm actually not good at business ideas.

Fortunately, my newsletter is a slice of fried gold.

I regret it did not occur to me sooner that we could have tattooed onto my father’s body the following words, 'I buried the gold bars at the following map coordinates ...'

— Saying Goodbye To My Father

Henceforth zombie movies will have to change. No more scenes in which everybody runs away from the zombies. We now know that at least 30 percent of people are going to run straight at the zombies, laughing about how zombies are fake news.

— Oh For The Fear of a Bear!

I will not school my daughters on the finer points of dark chicanery. If they wish to win arguments, outwit foes, vex opponents, or hoodwink adversaries, they're going to have to figure it all out on their own. Because I've seen the Star Wars movies. I know what happens to the Sith when they take on apprentices.

— Me Vs Me

There I was, desperately trying to defuse the situation, and using my meager high school German to assure everybody present that I do not actually wear women’s panties.

— Strange Passage, Part One

What sort of nonsense is this?

Well, here's two random cards I made. Yes. I know.

Christmas Ecard with text: In accordance with tradition, and like most others, this Christmas card has lots of deer in it. With a picture of venison.

christmas deer

'What are you getting me for Christmas?' she asked. 'A card,' I replied. 'Because you own a greeting card company, right?' 'That's right. If I give you a card I get to save money.' 'Great.' 'It is pretty cool,' I agreed. 'Well, at least promise me it'll be a traditional Christmas card, with deer on it or something.' 'I promise.'

Christmas

Christmas Ecard with text: In the United States, twelve million adults believe the world is secretly controlled by lizard people. But go ahead, teach impressionable children that Sant Claus is real. What could possibly go wrong? (Picture of a lizard man in a Santa Hat.)

what could go wrong

Christmas is nigh. Little orphans are peddling old shoes. Mums are smoking broken pencils and Dads are drinking turpentine and waving tire irons at invisible winged-snakes again. I know, I know - even I get maudlin and sentimental around this time of year. To be honest, I don't really understand today's card. But then, I don't really understand most of the things I say...

Christmas

These great people bought me coffee

"You are a nut case, don’t ever change!"

Patricia L.

buymeacoffee.com/stgabriel

"Terrific selection. The perfect combination of drollness and irreverence."

Cookie K.

buymeacoffee.com/stgabriel

"Unbelievably weird humor. Love it!"

Ruth A.

buymeacoffee.com/stgabriel

"Wonderful, on the spot, sense of humor. Perfect for my dark humored family. Thank you for sharing!"

April D.

buymeacoffee.com/stgabriel

"Love the cards"

Chris

buymeacoffee.com/stgabriel

"You're amazing! I love your writing -- it's funny, and cynical, in an amusing way. Just my cup of tea."

Slick

buymeacoffee.com/stgabriel

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